


(don't) doubt it

by ali3nz



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Bottom Lance (Voltron), Cuban Lance (Voltron), Daddy Kink, Established Lance/Shiro (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Insecure Shiro (Voltron), Jealous Shiro (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance got into some shitty relationships when he was younger, M/M, Oblivious Lance (Voltron), Pining Shiro (Voltron), Shiro calls Lance "Kitten", Top Shiro (Voltron), shance, takes place right before the ending of season 2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 01:16:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15741165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ali3nz/pseuds/ali3nz
Summary: It started years before the Garrison. Before Voltron.Lance was fifteen, stupid, and a pretty girl asked him out.





	1. before

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this a published it nearly a year ago and couldn't live with it being out here without a single proofread sentence. It was killing me so I decided to revisit and actually complete it this time. 
> 
> It's currently 1 am and I'm reminiscing about Voltron back in the good 'ol days. 
> 
> Ugh, just take this angst chapter for now,

It started years before the Garrison. Before Voltron.

Lance was fifteen, stupid, and a pretty girl asked him out.

She was almost two years his senior, not eighteen for another month. Lance found himself looking for acceptance in any way he could find it. She had been nice. Long blonde hair, small tooth gap that made her look innocent than what she was, and this beautiful pair of green eyes that made Lance want to sing.

_ Amethyst. _ The young man suspected that that wasn’t her real name. She only ever met him up at his house, never the other way around. Any attempts at asking were met with diversion or cold rejection. Lance learned not to expect much.

Two months later, they broke up.

Lance was young and naive during this time of life, but being taken advantage of really hit home. Amethyst had always moved too fast for Lance’s liking. Kissing on the second day, making out the second week, touching each other under their clothes in the first month. The boy was afraid he would have to make harder choices when out of the blue she texted him saying it was over. No explanation, nothing. Lance hadn’t really cared. He was a bit relieved, actually. However, it wasn’t like he could just say it didn’t hurt. It did.

He felt used and downright gross.

* * *

 

A month before his sixteenth birthday, Lance met Zachary.

A nineteen-year-old with muscles and messy black hair that made Lance’s fingers twitch. Having conditioned himself to only seeing boys as friends, Lance didn’t notice any of Zach’s advances.

That is until he kissed Lance in front of a group of his friends. Without asking.

Zach apologized later, hoping to start a relationship, which Lance hesitantly agreed to. That didn’t stop all of the witnesses from making fun of him and shouting homophobic slurs. Lance wasn’t familiar with his sexuality at the time and was still in the waves of puberty. It was all very confusing, but Lance felt like he could trust his older partner.

Zach went a lot slower than Amethyst, Lance noticed that. He asked Lance if he was okay with being touched, even if it was just his hand. What Lance didn’t want to accept was that Zach would usually emotionally manipulate him if he didn’t say yes. An example being that when he didn’t want to have their first kiss yet, Zach pouted, cocked his head to the side and gave a teary-eyed look.

_ Please? _ screamed his face, “Okay.” sadly agreed his mouth.

Lance became afraid. He thought about what happened with Amethyst. He thought about how quickly things had moved with her. He didn’t want to lose another relationship, despite only being in his second one. The irrational thought of trying even harder this time with Zach won over his anxiety. He quickly pressed his lips to Zach’s mouth, allowing his mouth to be explored, and proceeding to obtain his first hickeys.

That’s when he discovered that his sister’s make up was a lot more useful than he originally thought.

A few weeks in, Lance broke. He kept convincing himself that he had to let Zach do whatever he wanted or lose him, too. The only problem was that what Zach wanted was to get under his clothes, farther than Amethyst had ever gone.

At one of the sleepovers Lance usually arranged to keep them close, things went too far. Instead of watching the movie that Lance had been ranting about for days on end, Zach tried to pull his pants off and have his way with him.

Lance locked himself in the closet.

It was spacious, but really not as comfortable as his bed, which Zach ended up using because he refused to leave that late at night.

The next day, Lance woke up to a note on his bed saying that the relationship was over.

The bed sheets were left untucked.

Lance’s friends had abandoned him at the first signs of him being anything other than straight, so he had no one to talk to anymore. Zach had usually taken him places with his older friends, but, now he didn’t have anyone anymore.

During all of this, his family didn’t notice. Lance didn’t blame them. It wasn’t their responsibility to tell when people were trying to get under their relative’s clothes, especially when he didn’t have the courage to tell them. He felt like a dirty coward. Like, he deserved it, somehow, for not speaking up.

* * *

 

Lance didn’t have time to wallow in his own pity for long before he turned seventeen and got accepted into the Garrison. If there was one thing Lance could pride himself on, it was his knack for turning negative occurrences into something positive.

(Like that one time his little nephew came in crying because he skid his knee and Lance had the perfect, colorful little band-aid to save the day. 

“Thanks, Uncle Lance!”)

His sexuality was still an internal struggle, regardless of how many times he threw himself into the world of piloting. Lance was open to whatever helped him ease the inner turmoil of finding himself.

This proved to be his downfall.

Lance’s relationship status was constantly changing. He (somehow) made a new group of friends, gladly more accepting than his last. A smaller group than what he was used to, but it was more than Lance really thought he deserved.

Hunk, a big guy with a big heart who had such a talent for fixing things. Lance sometimes wondered if he could fix him, but never went too far with that thought.

Pidge, a “guy” with great technical knowledge. Pidge was never really around enough to care, and “he” seemed to busy with something else to really question Lance’s antics. Hunk, however, constantly questioned how Lance was doing. It started out with him genuinely saying “I’m great!” or “Kind of stressed from classes, but just fine!”

However, as time went on, things changed.

Slowly, the smart demeanor that Lance had fought to keep with him transformed into a flirty, careless aura. Each month he had a different partner. A girl, a boy, whatever, it didn’t matter to him anymore. They failed, one after the other, and he seemed fine with it. It wasn’t even all an act, sometimes Lance really  _ did  _ feel fine with it. Sometimes he felt the sadistic strings in his heart leap with joy at the wistful look some of his exes gave. Some who still texted him in desperate attempts to save their relationship were ignored. Lance never really opened up enough for Hunk to know exactly what was going on, and felt it was better that way. Friend’s or not, Hunk didn’t need to know about Lance’s  _ sad backstory _ . He didn’t need to pity the young man even when Lance knew what was happening. It was becoming an addiction he couldn’t stop.

Lance was slowly becoming what he hated.

* * *

 

Shiro was Lance’s hero.

He played it off as more of a childish idolization, but Lance truly saw Shiro as someone strong, independent. Someone who had flaws like everyone else but focused on figuring out how to get by them. Someone who could easily accept who he was, regardless of what others thought.

Lance wanted to be that way. He wanted to act like his strong role model. When they were shot up into space together (along with his friends and a knock-off Sasuke Uchiha who happened to not be so bad) Lance saw it as a chance to get closer and figure out how to get equally as strong. Of course, the whole deal with Zarkon got in the way, but the team bonding was definitely an improvement.

Lance, however, didn’t count on accidentally falling in love with him.

Shiro was a whole-hearted leader who was always there for everyone. He knew who was strong enough to take care of themselves and who needed a pick-me-up here and there. Lance was slowly starting to notice things he could not only learn from but also admire. He noticed too late that the feelings had turned into something more romantic. However, with his relationship history, the blue paladin knew better than to chase after something he knew would never last.

Shiro was a different story.

* * *

 

The first time Shiro noticed his attraction to Lance was when the tanned young man was stretching in the training room, a while before everyone was supposed to arrive. He watched Lance at the entrance, admiring how easily his body bent back and all over into yoga positions. This attraction had been mostly physical, but Shiro would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy seeing Lance so calm and happy and  _ relaxed _ . He wanted to see more of that smile than anything else.

The second time was when Lance woke up far too hyper. The team had been exercising their lions to see who was most equipped for an upcoming mission. Lance, without warning, ran circles around his teammates that day.

_ Literally _ .

He livened the mood and momentarily proved he could be fast, then admitted that Pidge or Keith would be the better choice.

_ “Aw, Lance, that’s so sweet of you to finally admit.” The green paladin laughed. _

_ A snort came from the coms, words rushing through without any real bite to them. “Damn it, don’t let it get to your heads.” _

Shiro could never forget how happy he had been to hear Lance’s excited laughter.

The next few times were subtle. Shiro interacting with Lance and learning more about him, like how many siblings he had, his mixed race, and how he used to swim and play volleyball back in Cuba. Each time Shiro became entranced with how excited Lance looked, how his body became jumpy and how he moved his hands in expression. Near the end of each conversation, Shiro had to force himself out of an attentive trance, praying Lance didn’t notice if his expression turned glassy.

The final time, he could hardly take it as Lance came into the common room singing in Spanish, with a voice that Shiro had never heard before.

_ The voice cut off as Lance yelped, looking down at his leader on the couch. “Sorry! I didn’t know anyone was in here!” _

_ As he ran out, Shiro wanted to ask why he would apologize for something so pretty. _

All the times Shiro felt his heartbeat race added up, and his brain wasn’t much help in organizing his feelings. Takashi Shirogane knew he was in love with Lance, but he didn’t know how to address it. He also didn’t think it was too professional of him to date one of his paladins. At first, he had hoped to ask Hunk for help with getting  _ over  _ said feelings.

Shiro learned the hard way that Hunk wasn’t that type of guy.

The whole team caught on before Lance did, egging their leader on with vigor. Even Keith came around to the idea, poking jokes about the situation that made it harder to keep Shiro’s feeling under wrap.

_ “Man, it’ll be nice having a proper mom around here. Allura was really getting tired of having to take on the role.” _

_ “Keith Kogane, if you don’t shut up-” _

Finally, he snapped.

It all came down to a rushed confession after Lance got hurt in battle. Shiro realized that while in a war in a space there really wasn’t any time to waste on petty formalities or unwavering embarrassment. You say what needs to be said and accept the results.

Shiro wanted to sing when Lance blushed and told him he felt the same way.

Even if, months later, he wasn’t acting like it.


	2. during

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is still his old self, and Shiro gets jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 11:51 pm and I have to go to my school's open house tomorrow.  
> That sucks. But, whatever.  
> Enjoy this while I go write the third chapter.

"You would think that for the paladins of Voltron they would have a more elegant welcoming," Allura complained under her breath, taking a sip of the strange alien beverage provided.

As a thank you to the paladins for ridding them of Galra forces that were dictating their planet, Fol'ua, the Folians planned a grand event complete with music and surprisingly human tasting food. Hunk had been utterly star-struck by all their advanced kitchenware, hanging around the talented chefs as though he was their apprentice. Pidge was just as intrigued with there technology, but more in general. The Folians society was rooted in their Victorian-like technology, reminding the paladins of a genre on Earth known as "steampunk".

Keith sat in-between Shiro and Allura, swishing his drink around in his hand instead of actually socializing. Lance would later give him grief about it, but could not change Keith's opinion on social events like these. He just didn't like being involved.

"That's uncharacteristic of you, Princess." Shiro sounded surprised. "I thought you would be fine with all of us partaking in another planet's culture. It was all planned specifically for us, after all." Keith hummed in partial agreement.

"Well, yes, but..." Allura stiffened. "I feel as though we should show a more... _ mature  _ impression. The Folians are an intelligent community, and they've always had strict leaders. The population itself always show the utmost respect for themselves and have been known to punish those who overstep boundaries." She took another sip. "It's very strange to see everyone so lively. Almost as though they are not taking us seriously. It worries me."

Shiro was about to try and reason with her when Keith cut him off,

"What's really worrying me is how our leader's boyfriend is carrying himself over there." He pointed subtly with his pinkie while taking a small sip of his drink.

Shiro gave a confused look, and he turned to address what the red paladin was pointing out.

Just like Keith said, there was Lance at the other side of the party room. However, what Keith  _ didn't  _ mention was how he was shooting lovey-dovey eyes and giving off that signature flirty grin to a few pretty alien girls surrounding him. Something in Shiro started bubbling, but he pushed it down with a small comment, "Lance has always been flirty. I'm sure it's just part of his casual interaction now. Nothing serious."

"They're taking selfies." Keith found his drink to be far too interesting as he smirked, making Allura giggle.

"Common friendly action." Shiro shrugged, starting to slouch in his chair.

"Yeah, you're right- Wait, oh, Lance kissed one of their cheeks. Man, is he blushing?"

"..."

"Oh, look, he seems to be exchanging phone numbers." Keith makes a show of turning to Allura and continuing his train of thought. Loud enough for Shiro to hear. "I'm still shocked that they have those, and with excellent signal, too. We were able to contact Pidge from the castle, which, by the way, was in another galaxy lightyears away from-"

Shiro swiftly got up and began stomping over to the small crowd of females surrounding Lance, leaving Keith to look back at Allura and laugh out the word, "...here."

* * *

Lance had never really taken Shiro's confession seriously.

Call him an asshole, but the fear of knowing that sooner or later he was going to end up heartbroken didn't let him. It didn't matter if Shiro was the sweetest person he had ever met, and was willing to wait nearly five months just to hold Lance's hand. It didn't matter that Shiro made sure Lance was one-hundred-percent comfortable with being kissed the first time, then separately made sure how long make-out sessions were comfortable for. Lance still loved how Shiro read his body language to make sure he was okay being touched, but, none of it mattered. Lance had turned himself into a careless flirt at heart. One prolonged relationship, that he barely acknowledged as more than a lovey-dovey friendship with a few benefits, wasn't going to change that.

Which was why he was a little surprised to see Shiro stomping over to the group of females he was currently swooning. A small prickling of guilt tried to work itself through Lance's system, but he hurriedly shoved it away.

"Ladies," the man stiffly cooed, bringing their attention over to him. Lance almost wanted to laugh when the girls turned to mush at the sight of his leader's muscular figure. Before Shiro could continue, however, the Queen of the planet was presented. Everyone respectfully turned to marvel at her beauty. She was an elegant shade of emerald green, showing her status of royal blood.

Despite the extravagant beauty being shown before them, Lance could have sworn he saw Shiro spare him a glance.

* * *

 

 "Aaaaand, that's all."

Lance tore that last number he had been given into the trash, wiping his hands of any alien paper residue. Hunk watched in slight disappointment from his position at the table.

"You couldn't have saved a single one for me? I'd love to contact one of them and see if I can learn some more recipes." He sighed dreamily. "Man, I'd kill for a chance to try that Folian casserole again."

Lance laughs at his friend's dreamy expression. "Nah, then they'd just ask about me and I'm not about to start that loop again."

"Again?" Pidge asked from her side of the table, mouth full of the purple dish Hunk had made that tasted like chicken. "What do you mean again?"

Lance stiffened for a moment. 

Shiro noticed.

"Just, ya know, again. Like, back at the Garrison."

Pidge and Hunk share a knowing look.

Shiro noticed that, too.

Keith and Allura share one of their own.

Coran looks confused for a moment, then proceeds to feast on his own share of dinner, mumbling something about how the paladins back in his day were never quite this secretive with their  _ special looks.  _

* * *

"Shiro, talk to him. Get your own boundaries sorted out."

"Keith, I said I can handle this on my own. I appreciate your help, but I want to figure this out myself."

"Shiro, if I could be of assistance? I think you should definitely confront Lance on what you are comfortable with him doing. I'm sure that back on Earth, both parties of a relationship are known to communicate when one has problems with something the other is doing, correct?"

"Yes, Princess, but-"

"But what, Shiro? You have to address this issue with Lance. Figure out if what he's doing isn't just because it's him being himself."

"What is that even suppose to  _ mean,  _ Keith?"

"You know he did not mean any disrespect, Shiro."

"Oh, so now you're defending him? What do you guys even see Lance as? Just some flirty guy who doesn't know how to control himself even when he's taken? Is that was this is about? Is that why you pointed it out in the first place?"

"No, Shiro, you know we didn't mean it that-"

The doors to the common room drew open, shushing the small meeting the three were having. Lance strolled in, stretching and emitting a groan. Shiro bit his lip, momentarily forgetting his dilemma by getting a full image of his significant other. The blue paladin noticed the others in the room.

"Hey, guys," he yawned, "Can't sleep until the light cycle turns purple, Pidge and Hunk are busy working on something, and I can't find Coran so, here I am trying to find something to do." He notices their serious expressions. "Hey, uh, what's up?"

For a moment, no one said anything. Keith sighed.

"Lance, look, Shiro would really like to know why you f-"

"-IX YOUR HAIR THAT WAY!" Allura cut in, seeing Shiro's desperation. She winced at her horrible lie. "We'd actually all like to know! Me, specifically! How about you take me to your bathroom and show me your hair caring tips, hm?"

Shiro would find a way to thank her later.

Lance took a moment, looking between all three of his friends and wondering what was going on underneath the surface. 

However, there was  _ no way _ he was giving up a chance to style Allura's hair.

"Sure! C'mon, Princess, I've been dying to braid your hair!" He said wholeheartedly, no flirty advances.

Shiro gave Keith a look that shut him up quickly as the Lance pulled the Princess out of the room, who looked genuinely intrigued. 

The black paladin ran a hand through his hair, sighing in frustration as he looked at the floor near his feet. Shiro knew he couldn't keep at this any longer. A healthy relationship was what he wanted with Lance, and regardless of the war they had been shoved into, he would do everything he could to maintain it. 

So, with a half-hearted sigh, he muttered to Keith in defeat,

"Fine. I'll talk to him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooh, this one only had 26 advanced issues.
> 
> Nice.

**Author's Note:**

> Grammarly tells me this has 50 advanced issues but I don't have premium and my eyes are about to die from staring at this computer screen any longer. 
> 
> The next two chapters will come out soon. 
> 
> Sorry for the slight angst.


End file.
